Fair well

NJ is leaving, one yr had passed. I will miss her. I think she is cute & lovely. We are able to communicate well with one another. That's cool. What I have not done is to bring her around, experiencing the awesome true Singapore life. I think I got to reflect on this. Why I have to wait till someone got to leave then feel sad about it.
Its really a great experience to know her story from young. She is one of those "lucky?" gal who are able to travel to diff place since young. And I am the opposite.

Well, I should be more friendly yet assertive to my foreign friends. Friendly means having more meals & outings with them. Assertive means unable to join them for activities when I am really busy. I think more meals and tea/coffee are good enough. =)

I don't think I am going to spend the rest of my next 5 yrs
or life staying in front of the computer doing rendering or modeling.

There are more important things for me to achieve in my life.
I need to be

discipline enough to stick with my thoughts & goals

that I want to achieve in.

Confussed sunday

I have sort out pictures for Rendering Business portfolio uses. I think the it should be more of a business site rather than a design site. As i am targeting businessmen rather than designer. "Design is a business" rather than "Business is designing". I will like companies or businessman to feel that using our services, it will boost their sales.

Tired friday

Its real eye tiring doing 3D modeling and rendering the whole day. I think I did it more for the money than interest. Maybe it is 50% interest & 50% for financial gains. Have I realised that merely doing 3D computer stuffs can't go far? If that is, maybe that's a good thing happening. Is it because I have grown wiser and realize that there are more important things in life? Or is because of University education that natured me to be smarter, so to realize that doing 3D computer stuff is just a skills that doesn't required much thinking, so I can put my time into chores that are intellectually more challenging?
But I do realized that learning this skill can at least make me 3 meals a day, but this is not the kind of life that I wanted. I think I can sort things up, have a system of doing 3D rendering, that can be mass producible. Thus I am able to generate a cash flow. With this profit, I can venture into other business...
I think I talk much today with Z'S. In fact, I can think abit harder, sort my thoughts more clearly, answering him more intellectually. Maybe we should have a friendly challenge so that it can pushes both our limits. Friendly competition is good. Yah, I should reorganised myself and have a friendly competition with him.

I wanted to create this but I am lazy.. But finally I did

I always wanted to write down my thoughts somewhere so that I can remember what I have think before so that I can remember it when I wanted to refer back. And finally I did.

Thoughts...
Thoughts are the most important thing in life I guess. I have thoughts about my life every morning, and think what I wanted to achieve in life. This determine my direction in life, and makes me do the necessary things everyday to achieve it But some times,my thoughts are in real mess. I can be giving thoughts about certain things at one moment, yet be thinking about other thing within a split second. I really need to change. I need to have a organised way of thinking, or else all thoughts are not deep, it is just a flash of idea and not merely thinking thru! Yes, I really need to change! Change is necessary if it is for the better!

26th may...
4 days have passed, I am 25yrs and 4 days old. Time really flies. Life in getting tougher, as I am in charge and responsible for all my thoughts and actions that I have taken. Sometimes I feel like crying. But I didn't. Maybe I just need a listening ear? Or even some where that I can express myself. I think I am great. All things that I have achieve or done till today are not pure luck. I think I work hard to get it. Sometimes when I compare myself with some of the other classmates or friends, I think that they are really lucky. Its seems easy for them to achieve who they are or what they have today. Maybe because I didn't plan when I am young, like when I am in primary sch? Thus now, this is the harder path that I have to go thu? Maybe? But I am not afraid of hardship. I am able to take it. I am only scare that I am not smart to tackle hard life. I realized that in life, I got to work smarter not harder. But do not forget hardworking do take an important role. I am stupid that when I am 17 0r 20 like that, I always think that by working hard all my life, I will succeed. This is not totally true. Beside hardwork, I need luck, network and most importantly smartness to succeed in life. So I got to change!

Mature thoughts?
Its really tough to work & work, and no one to share you joy or sorrow. At this point, 25yrs old.,I think beside dashing and chasing after my goal in life, I need someone who I love to share this journey. I need a girl friend. Someone who I can commit my time to, someone who I can love and treasure, someone who I can talk to. What the point of chasing goal in life, yet there is no one you can share with? Wait! What's the matter with me? Am I too choosy or am I too flirtish, or am I not consistent? Is it that every nice girls that I have met, I want to go out with. Maybe ppl see me as flirtish? Or because I am not consistent? I think I need to make up my mind which girl I like. I think if I continue doing what I am doing now, I will not get a girlfriend eventually. I need to sort up my thoughts, need to be more decisive in making choices. Then go for it. Or else, things cannot be done. And I will still be lonely for the next 5 yrs. So I stead of having lunch or dinner alone, ask friends out, either male or female. Get socialised, widen your social circle, and you will find one. A friend is just an SMS away. If they didn't reply, so be it, don't get too upset or disappointed, try again for another diff friend next time.

I think I am inconsistence in life. I need to change. I am indecisive, I need to change. I am slow in doing things, I need to change! I want a better life!

nite.